Confucious say, "Kotex not best thing on earth, NEXT to best thing on earth"
Confucious say, "The wife wants to try the missionary position. She on top, me in Africa."
Confucious say, "Man who fart in church, sit in own pew."
Confucious say, "Man who go through airport turnstyle sideways, going to Bangcock."
Confucious say, "Man with hand in pants, feel cocky all day."
Confucious say, "Man who run behind car, get exhausted.
Confucious say, "Man who run in front of car, get tired.
Confucious say, "Man who stand on toilet, high on pot."
Confucious say, "Man who put cock in Peanut Butter jar is Fucking Nuts."
Confucious say, "Couple on 7-day honeymoon make hole weak."
Confucious say, "Man who loses key to lady's apartment get no new-key."
Confucious say, "Schoolboy who play with schoolgirl during wrong period, get caught red-handed."
Confucious say, "If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient."
Confucious say, "Man who stand on street corner with hands in pockets, not feeling crazy, feeling nuts."
Confucious say, "Baseball wrong--man with four balls cannot walk."
Confucious say, "Learn to masturbate--come in handy."
Confucious say, "Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ."
Confucious say, "War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left."
Confucious say, "Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night!"
Confucious say, "If you park, don't drink, accidents cause people."
Confucious say, "It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it."
Confucious say, "Man who lives in glass house should change in basement."