SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed...+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows...0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...-1
You leave the toilet seat up...-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty...0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom... -2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings... +5
In the snow...+8
But return with beer...-5
And no liners...-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night...0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing...0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something...+5
You pummel it with a six iron...+10 It's her cat...-40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party...0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy...-2
Named Tiffany...-4
Tiffany is a dancer...-10
With breast implants...-18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday...0
You buy a card and flowers...0
You take her out to dinner...0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar...+1
Okay, it is a sports bar...-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night...-3
It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team ...-10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal...0
The pal is happily married...+1
The pal is single...-7
He drives a Ferrari.... -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)...-15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie...+2
You take her to a movie she likes...+4
You take her to a movie you hate...+6
You take her to a movie you like.....-2
It's called Death Cop III...-3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans...-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans...-15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly...-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly & exercise to get rid of it...+10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts...-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."...-800
THE BIG QUESTION:
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding...-10
You reply, "Where?"...-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your ass"...-100
Any other response...-20
COMMUNICATION: When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression...0
You listen, for over 30 minutes...+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience...+ 50
You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying, "Well, what do you think I should do?"...-100
You have fallen asleep...-200
ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk...-100
You don't talk.... -150
You spend time with her...-200
You don't spend time with her...-500
You seem to be enjoying yourself...-1000
GAME OVER - YOU LOSE